AnyLetter

We’re in the middle of a gas crisis here in Baton Rouge, with fewer than ten percent of local gas stations operational. Between 15-20 % of the nation’s oil production has gone offline, and will be for months. Our local refinery, Exxon, one of the largest in the country (accounting for about 5% of the nation’s oil production), is working under reduced production. However, an executive at the refinery (my father) has confirmed that the plant will resume full production within the week. And this is in Baton Rouge, mind you, where we only sustained wind damage. Consider the refineries located closer to the Gulf. Be prepared to pay more in gas over the next few weeks, though understand that once many of these Gulf Coast refineries resume full production, prices will go down. And there’s even better news. Millions of barrels of crude are making their way to the US, sent from Europe, Asia and the Middle East (notably Kuwait). And proving that he should be assasinated, Hugo Chavez, the dictator of Venezuela, has promised to send us a considerable amount of oil. This will not only fix the local gas crisis, but also reduce prices across the nation.

By the end of the year, the oil bubble ought to burst. Go ahead and roll your eyes, but I trust what my father and Steve Forbes say, and the days of $1.50 a gallon are nearing once again.